2010-07-23 - 9:25 p.m.
There are so many things I want to write about these days. Ideas are swimming inside my head, waiting to get out. Plus, another fasting month is coming soon.:) I can't hardly wait! I've even bought a lot of books to help me pass the time.
There are interesting writing contests too. It's time to be back in the game!:D But then, what am I going to write first? Besides, there are other, more important priorities too. End-of-term is coming and I am still drowning in papers to correct and assess.:| Hmm...
Well, my ideas can wait...but not too long this time.:P
Some of my friends who have read my stories since teenage years mostly thought they were good, but way too gloomy. Even my old college friend Putri complained, "Why do you always write something dark? Why not try something much lighter, the kind with a happy ending?"
At that time, my first thought was: typical. Cliche.*big fat yawn* Not so original and all too predictable. What else is there?
However, despite my heavy sarcasm, I'm aware that's what everybody likes. (By everybody, I mean: "normal people.") They always want something to keep their hopes up, something to make them smile. (I know I do too, but that's not the point here.:|) I mean, check out all the best-selling novels and Hollywood flicks out there. It's all good, but too much of anything is just the same in the end, right?
Well, it's not like I've never tried. Back in the days when my old college best friend Pumpkin was still alive, he'd introduced me to...chick-lits and chick-flicks. From him, I borrowed all Sophie Kinsella books he owned. Not so bad.*shrugs* My sister bought me Jane Green's "Jemima J" (the story of a young, obese woman who struggles to transform herself into a new, hot chick - only because she's lied to a handsome guy on the internet and he wants to meet her face-to-face.) But after some time, I got bored like hell.
And my very first attempt at writing a regular, happy love story ended up in a complete disaster. It was like, fake. I mean, FAKE in huge block letters. I was not feeling it. AT ALL.
*deep sigh*
Long ago, when Red first visited this city, I took him to an art exhibition nearby. I told him all about my favourite movies, one of which was "Heart" - this really sad story about a tomboyish basketball player who has a terrible accident that leaves her legs amputated. Soon, she dies after having her liver transplanted into the body of her best friend's beautiful and feminine girlfriend - because the poor girl is dying of syrosis(sp?) The tomboy, however, is still an ordinary girl - in love and heartbroken at the same time. Playing basketball with the only guy she ever loves all her life means the whole world to her, even if she has to deal with the existence of his girlfriend. Knowing the girl's serious illness and how heartbroken he'll be if she dies, the tomboy does what any real best friend ever would - all in the name of true love.
(And I've vowed to never watch it again. The first time I did, I couldn't stop crying my eyes out for minutes or so.:'-( Mom - who'd also watched it - thought the chubby tomboy character is like me.:|)
"You like all sad movies." Red cringed. "Why?"
"Because that's just the reality I often see when it comes to love." I couldn't believe it that he'd wanted to laugh at that. What? At least I wasn't too damn naive into believing that love was always that picture-perfect. (Ugh.*rolls eyes*) I mean, what is so bloody wrong about 'preparing for the worst'? That doesn't make me an acute pessimist.
And I also couldn't believe that I hadn't told him this: "I don't know. Maybe you could change my gloomy perception about love." Maybe the miracle would've happened.*shrugs*
Ah, whatever.
My dear friend Black Polar Bear (he simply calls himself that sometimes *giggles*) also said,"You write what you write because that main character has always been you in the first place. Put a nice happy-ending and that'll make a difference and not spoil the readers' mood."
A happy ending?? I know what kind of a happy ending he talks about. The only happy ending I can probably write about is that the good people win, the bad ones lose, the hero saves the day...and all that jazz.:P You see, this is what I like about non-romantic movies. It's all about focusing on how to defeat evil, not how to win the girl/guy of your dreams. The hero has no time worrying about whether the special someone loves him/her too. Less of a(n unnecessary) stress.
The thing is, I have my reasons. Not many people want to deal with the dark side of this reality. (But eventually, they have to, once in a while.) They only care about the leading character reuniting the love of his lives, arms wrapped around each other and stuff before the camera freezes the shot. The hero sweeps the damsel in distress off her feet. The beautiful princess wins the heart of her prince charming. The beast gets re-transformed into a handsome prince. That's it. That's all. They don't care about the minor characters that much, those who fight to win the love of the leading man/lady with all their might - but only have to lose in the end. They don't get proper credits or the spotlight they too deserve, even just a bit. I bet not many of the audience remember the real name of "The Phantom of The Opera" (which is, ironically, the main theme of the story.:P Bad analogy?) I'm sure most of them only remember that - in the end - the beautiful opera singer Christine chooses the handsome Raoul.
Come to think of it, it's a classic case. Everyone wants to get closer to the popular figure. Nobody bothers with the commoners, even worse the wallflowers and the loners. Complaining how unfair the whole shit is just won't do any good to anyone.
I guess, in a way, I'm trying to pay a small tribute to the somewhat overlooked...and defeated. We all claim that beauty is more than skin deep, but let's just be blatantly honest with ourselves: How many of us really look deeper? How much do we really want to?
You can say that this whole thing is just another state of my personal bitterness. You can even tell me that I've been in this dark side of love for too damn long. Well, I've never asked for any of this, anyway. Nobody ever has. I just don't buy it that popular people have to get all the spotlights. These ordinary people also deserve the break, but - sadly - some still have to wait. Is it really what they deserve, or am I being too much of an idealist again?
I don't know if I'll ever be able to write something lighter...with a juicy happy ending people like better. Is this normal? The crazy shit is, because of this many of them tend to misunderstand so much.
Hell, I get that a lot. Why the hell should I even take it personal?
The Author
